did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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