Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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