I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
