last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize