U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
