I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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