Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
