I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
