I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
