so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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