The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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