why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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