So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
