I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
