Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
