Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1533) Bad night (882)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.

  (214): View more from Texas

  so how much did i say i owed you?

  (972): View more from Texas

  $5 and a new fuck buddy.

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  (972): so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards. (214): so how much did i say i owed you? (972): $5 and a new fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/zurg
  Replies (21) Good night (3208) Bad night (718)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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  (301): Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable. (201): I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around. http://tfl.nu/syx6
  Replies (44) Good night (4206) Bad night (718)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer

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  (860): you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer http://tfl.nu/h8i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4264) Bad night (982)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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  (937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y
  Replies (17) Good night (8584) Bad night (1191)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

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  (801): we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha http://tfl.nu/k58e
  Replies (20) Good night (7216) Bad night (860)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?

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  (651): I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl? http://tfl.nu/nlrb
  Replies (38) Good night (6586) Bad night (1646)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.

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  (715): I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today. http://tfl.nu/aa1v
  Replies (23) Good night (5263) Bad night (861)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

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  (253): So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel. http://tfl.nu/ldso
  Replies (5) Good night (1005) Bad night (972)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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  (507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19
  Replies (9) Good night (1834) Bad night (677)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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  (218): i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point http://tfl.nu/qeeg
  Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (510)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You pretty much isn't said it

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Those words don't go together.

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  (954): You pretty much isn't said it (404): Those words don't go together. http://tfl.nu/8gl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2289) Bad night (674)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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  (704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (255)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...

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  (+44): Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer... http://tfl.nu/gvjp
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (349)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT

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  (303): Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT http://tfl.nu/q2ya
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (192)

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