do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ladies don't puke and tell
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.