Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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(215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69

Replies (23) Good night (923) Bad night (4032)
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(253): View more from Washington

My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

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(253): My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support. http://tfl.nu/g29g

Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (2560)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

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(513): I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off. (1-513): trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis. http://tfl.nu/8skg

Replies (23) Good night (2445) Bad night (630)
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(845): View more from New York

felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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(845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy

Replies (33) Good night (1411) Bad night (6291)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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(717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh

Replies (27) Good night (2338) Bad night (6704)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

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(763): I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like. http://tfl.nu/kktd

Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (3599)
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(917): View more from New York City

Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.

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(917): Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof. http://tfl.nu/i13l

Replies (13) Good night (4351) Bad night (1650)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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(860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb

Replies (24) Good night (5253) Bad night (952)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.

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(808): No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager. http://tfl.nu/g78j

Replies (7) Good night (1644) Bad night (841)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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(270): Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off? http://tfl.nu/sbu9

Replies (19) Good night (574) Bad night (3537)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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(412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh

Replies (6) Good night (2808) Bad night (1380)
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(347): View more from New York

ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

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(347): ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down. http://tfl.nu/rocj

Replies (4) Good night (1727) Bad night (1085)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.

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(715): Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure. http://tfl.nu/2y1s

Replies (5) Good night (2059) Bad night (472)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol

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(913): The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol http://tfl.nu/w5ds

Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (644)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

(216): View more from Ohio

Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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(330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp

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