I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
