If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
