I hate your face
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
