Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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