Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
