Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
