I will die if light touches me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
