I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sext me about skeletons
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
