hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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