I'm gonna have a badass scar
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
