Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
