omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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