i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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