I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
