I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
