i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
