escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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