operation harelip BJ is a go
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
