he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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