before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
