I hate your face
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
