As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
