OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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