I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
