This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
