fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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