Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
