when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize