In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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