Ambien. No doubt about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
