If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
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