At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dignity is for republicans.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize