dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
