yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize