I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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