Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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