What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
