You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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