I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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