You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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