I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
