I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
