I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize