I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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