We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my poor anus
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize