it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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