the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
