am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
