she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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