ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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