i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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