my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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