you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
