After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
