HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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