My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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