this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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