Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
